понеделник, 17 октомври 2011 г.

Everybody knows shit happens +16

TAOISM - "if you understand shit, it isn't shit"
HINDUISM - "this shit happened before"
CONFUCIANISM - "confucious say 'shit happens'"
BUDDHISM - "shit will happen to you again"
ZEN - "what is the sound of shit happening?"
ISLAM - "if shit happens, it is the will of Allah"
SIKHISM - "leave our shit alone"
JEHOVA'S WITNESS - "knock. knock. shit happens"
ATHEISM - "i don't believe this shit"
AGNOSTICISM - "can you prove that shit happpens?"
CATHOLICISM - "if shit happens, you deserve it"
PROTESTANTISM - "shit happens, amen to that"
JUDAISM - "why does shit always happen to us?"
ORTHODOX JUDAISM - "so shit happens, already"
TELEVANGELISM - "send money or shit will happen to you"
RASTAFARIANISM - "let's smoke this shit"
HARE KRISHNA - "shit happens rama rama"
NATION OF ISLAM - "don't take no shit"
NEW AGE - "visualize shit happening"
SHINTOISM - "you inheritt shit of your ancestors"
HENDOISM - "i love it when shit happens"
SATANISM - "sneppah tihs"
CAPITALISM - "this is MY shit"
FEMINISM - "men are shit"
EXISTENTIALISM - "what is shit, anyway?"
SCIENTOLOGY - "if shit happens, see Dianetics p.137"
MORMONISM - "excrement happens" (don't say shit)
BAPTISM - "we'll wash the shit right off you"
MYSTICISM - "this is really weird shit"
VOODOO - "shit doesn't just happen - we made it happen"
MYSTICISM - "this is really weird shit"
DISNEYISM - "bad shit doesn't happen here"
COMMUNISM - "lets share the shit"
MAXISM - "you have nothing to lose but your shit"
CONSPIRACY THEORISM - "THEY shit on us!"
PSYCHO-ANALYSIS - "tell me about yoru shit"
DARWINISM - "survival of the shittiest"
AMISH - "modern shit is useless"
SUICIDAL - "i've had enough of this shit"
OPTIMISM - "shit won't happen to me"
TREKISM - "to boldly shit where no-one has shat before"
SHAKESPEAREAN - "to shit or not to shit, that is the question"
DESCRATES - "i shit therefore i am"
FREUD - "shit is a phallic symbol"
LAWYERS - "for enough money, I can get you out of shit"
ACUPUNCTURIST - "hold still or this shit's gonna hurt"
DOG - "i just shit in your shoe"
CAT - "dogs are shit"
MOUSE - "oh shit! a cat!"
POLITICALLY CORRECT - "internally processed, nutritionally drained, biological output happens"
EINSTEIN - "shit is relative"
FAMILY GATHERING - "relatives are shit"
MATERIALISM - "whoever dies with the most shit, wins"
VEGETARIANISM - "if it shits, don't eat it"
FATALISM - "oh shit, it's going to happen"
ENVIRONMENTALISM - "shit is biodegradable"
AMERICANISM - "who gives a shit?"
STATISTICIAN - "shit is 84.7% likely to happen"
HIP-HOP - "motherfuck this shiznit, beeatch!"
TANTRISM - "fuck this shit"
CYNICISM - "we are all full of shit"
SURREALISM - "fish happens"
WICCA - "you can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times"

Из Мъдрости от нета

Монолог на Хамлет

(Трето действие, първа сцена)

Да бъдеш или не — туй е въпросът.
Дали е по-достойно за душата
да понесеш камшиците, стрелите
на бясната съдба или да се
опълчиш сам срещу море от мъки
и да им туриш край? Умри, заспи –
не повече. И знай, че тоя сън
е краят на сърдечна скръб и хиляди
жестоки удари - дял на плътта!
О, ето край желан! Умри, заспи...
Заспи, или пък може би — сънувай?...
Да, и това е пречката; защото
какви ли сънища ще ни споходят
сред тоя смъртен сън, когато ний
отхвърлим всеки земен смут и мъка?
И туй ни спира. Този страх превръща
живота в дълголетна нищета.
Кой би понасял гаврите и бича
на времето, неправдата на силния,
на гордия презрението, мъките
горчиви на отвъргната любов,
потъпкването на законите,
безочието на властта, онуй
презрение, което получава
смиреното достойнство във награда
от недостойнството — кой би търпял
това, щом може да намери мир
с едно замахване! Кой би желал
да носи това бреме и да страда,
да стене в тоз мъчителен живот?
Но ужасът пред нещо, след смъртта
- страната неоткрита, от която
не се е връщал никой пътник още —
смущава волята и ето че
по-скоро сме готови да търпим
сегашните злини, отколкото
към други неизвестни да се хвърлим.
Така съзнанието ни създава
от всички нас страхливци; и така
естественият цвят на смелостта
изтлява в бледността на наште мисли.
Дела на сила и величие
пред този страх изменят своя път
и губят име на дела... Но тихо.


To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep to say we end
The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub;
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor's wrong, the proud man's contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law's delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action. - Soft you now!

От: Уилям Шекспир, Превод: В.П.

„Хамлет“ (на английски: Hamlet) е сред най-популярните трагедии на английския поет и драматург Уилям Шекспир. Написана между 1600 и 1602 (най-често споменавана 1601 година). Действието се развива в замъка Елсинор, кралския двор на Кралство Дания.